The sad part about happiness is that there is an opposite side. Everything has an opposing force. Depending on which side you fall on, it could be better or it could be worse.
I haven't felt sad since I was in my angsty younger years. I don't need to disclose how old that makes me feel but it's been a very long time. I can honestly say this year has been perfect and by far the best in life I have experienced. Well, unfortunately, anything that feels perfect is too good to be true. There is always a dark side to happiness.
I can't eat. I can't sleep. I feel mute and lost. I feel confused and overwhelmed. I zone out and become extremely anxious. I don't think I've ever felt this anxious in my life. This was all so sudden my body had no time to react in a healthy normal manner. I'm shutting down from the inside out and I have no clue how to stop it. I burst into fits of panic and my tears wont stop.
In the back of my mind I know everything will be fine but all my emotions keep flooding in drowning how I'm trying so hard to feel. I can't help it. I can't stop it.
I just want him home and healthy and back to normal. It may seem ridiculous to some people but he's my child. I don't know what to do without him...
I'm broken.
Life is different when he's not around.
"A house is not a home without a dog."
My translation... A heart is not whole without a dog.
Thank you to all for keeping us in your thoughts. It's the one thing getting the three of us through it all. We are looking forward to going back to being a happy little family very soon and cherishing every moment we are given together.
